wastelandnumberseven

Been contemplating the children's art classes i'm running. One starts this Thursday at the same school i went to (Queen Vic, Sedgley), the other starts in a few weeks on a Tuesday at Cotwall End, both primary schools, kids around 8 years old. The first is 12 weeks of mask making. The other is just general art. There isn't a definition of art, not agreed by everyone, which causes problems, but it's probably more healthy that way. That there is doubt, that no-one can be cock-sure (and retain respect anyway). But i think the classes will be good for me as well, when i get comfortable and confident teaching it'll open up a whole area of work to me. Plus i'm having to research into sections of art which i've overlooked in the past, masks for instance. There are so many different masks, for so many different reasons, they were used in religious rituals, in festivals, theatre, superheroes, for protection, they can be used to both hide and express. The Inuits made masks that transformed from one animal to another, beaks opened and another face would be underneath. They also made these finger masks, which were like rings, but with faces popping out. And then there's Venetian Masks, which are surprisingly talked about very little in the art books i have, but they're beautiful. I think they expressed wealth, but they certainly do it very well; gold masks, eye masks, looking like operatic in some ways, used in a couple of Klimt paintings i think. I even saw a gold unicorn mask online for a horse to wear... like something from Flash Gordon.

So, it will be beneficial for me to do these classes, however anxious i feel at first. Given that it's my first run as a teacher, i suppose it's expected that i'd be scared. I'll get over it.

Monday came, yesterday in fact, and i had my usual block in making things. I just can't figure out what i'm doing on a monday, i can't commit to an idea or a style, nor even know whether i want to paint at all. Same routine every week, i think i should be doing something else. Usually by Friday i'm up on my feet again, painting strongly, wondering what all the fuss was about. This week that feeling has spread to Tuesday (today). But i did read half of Alain De Botton's The Consolations Of Philosophy, which is kind of popular, but that's good. I suppose it's clearer than most philosophy books because it expects and asserts itself upon an audience who wouldn't necessarily know anything about philosophy. Which is what i need and like. But De Botton's a good writer, read Status Anxiety and On Love before now, they're good too. But this includes more of a history of philosophy, and applies different philosophers ideas to how we can live happier, more fulfilling lives. He goes through Socrates, Montaigne, Epicurus, Seneca... I'm halfway through Montaigne's ('Consolation for Inadequacy') chapter, have Neitzsche and Schopenhauer to go yet. It's really good reading.

Also been hung up on the idea that there are so many ways to say things, so many ways to express myself, but i can't think of anything i want to say. That's depressing. Though maybe i just have the wrong medium at the moment... that's depressing too.

Isolate and exaggerate.